(Some of these are not newbies issues only.. there are a bunch of good/decent players who have some of these strange quirks)


Ok, before we start, I'd like to say that "it's ok" to do something dumb and trying retarded stuff(IF YOU THINK THEY'LL WORK!!!!!) every now and then.. but avoid doing it 3 times in a row or you'll most likely get alksdjasd'd.

Now, these are some things you just CAN'T do on a game or your team will get mad:


1.Your mate is carrying the ball,

Seriously.. Can you explain? (yes, I know you're trying to help and how there may be a pass to the side or up.. but what's the point of that pass anyway? (ps, I know how amazing it is to pass between the team and all that cr*p, but your main point is to get to their goal! useless passes are... useless!))
ever noticed how big the map is?
GO AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! your defender will follow and the game will be way more clear! your mate can then pass to you, or juke and move the ball etc.... I can't stress this enough.. things will get way easier once you're on the other side!
(the pictures may be a little confusing but I think they're understandable.. red "arrows" = ship moving, white "arrows" = passes)




("thewse pixurez hav mawr than 3 chipz per team!!!11 lawowealao!" yeah, obviously these are some of the available options..)



and so on.. you get the idea..

if you are the whole game next to me, I can assure you you'll be aslkjdhasljhd'd.. and the worst part is you'll say "lol? stfu, you're the one losing the ball" ... and then you'll be just more asjkdhaslkdjasd'd

2.Always know who'll win the spawn! sometimes in this situation,

Some of you will just score! Why? What's the rush? You're alone! if you score, the other team will score right after! Let your team mates go to the middle, wait your boostbar to refill, shoot and boost your way BACK TO D(not to the rebound, let your mates battle and you stay back there to prevent break away goals and to catch "lost" balls)
And on the other way, we have this:

Some of you will just run back to the ball spawn..
dsflaksjdfaçlsjdf
Why is that? Rush the man with the ball and make him score quickly! Can't you see your mates will win the spawn? Think!

3. Tried to shoot or something and they guessed it and now you're getting your ass doubled? Wow.. What will you do?
Will you have enough skill to control the ball against two fat enemies?? the answer is: Who cares? If you try to control it you're dumb! just pass to someone who's open EVEN IF THEY'RE BEHIND YOU! If there's no one open clear to somewhere that you know you or your mates will get first!

if you don't do that:
afgjadfga
dfgdfag
ladfgdf
ag
afdg


4. There's NOTHING wrong with this block! It's useful if done correctly..

Now, some of you seems to forget what's the point of that block (Which is: to get to the side with space so you can control the ball easily, and IF POSSIBLE to block your defender on the square so you can attack in numeric advantage(?)!
There are some times that I make that pass and the defender still manages to get the ball.. why? because some of you think you're blocking both ways, to allow the pass, and to get there first, like this: "(red)\(blue)".. drop that! If the man with the ball has more than 15 IQ, he won't pass it right to him, even if the defender tries to cover the pass, he'll pass on his back! Cover him like this "(red)|(blue)"! this way you'll always get there first!

Also, if you're not able to block him, just go and get open.. will work anyway:



5.You've f*cked up and/or for some reason are late on D.. too bad! But why would you follow him now, 5 seconds later? By the time they score you'll be where that retarded multi-colored ball is and will be amazingly late to the spawn!

There's no chance you'll steal the ball from that player from behind!
and remember, most of the times you step that side of the square, the other team scores! Your best bet is to go for the middle, and if they end up scoring anyway, atleast you'll get the ball at spawn.
I won't exactly lsakdaslkdasd you if you do this, but you'll lose some points on my "players leaderboard" for sure.

6.Your last man just got the ball back amazingly and passes, he's still listening to the claps and cheers from the crowd when you try to do this pass:

Ok man.. What the f*ck? Unless you know that person really well and you are both skilled and do that sh*t everytime, DONT TRY IT! What if your teammate boosts to the middle? What if he doesn't and you just manage to miss the pass? You're f**king giving them a goal when it should be a 3v2 situation!

adsklfjadsf
asdflkadgºçasdg
adfgçakdf
gadfg
kdfas

If anything, wait and see where he's going, and pass to him!
(forgot to move the back man a little further)
(and yes, I know you were trying to go faster tru constant back passes and shit, but what's the reason? it isn't a race, and they already 2 defenders back, too risky!)


7.Amazing 2v1 situation! since I'm very skilled and I can, why not show off a bit? I'll bounce and shoot on a 2v1! and this is what happens:

amazing isn't it? you should've scored but instead, you gave them a goal! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BOUNCE ON A 2v1! actually, its really hard to do a bounce shot on a 2v1! ("no it's not! I do it all the time!" yes I know that, I do it to.. on 1v1!) this time you have a teammate! you'll "have" to bounce it to the center for it to be effective.. but since you have a teammate, you'll try to stay on your side and screw up! why even try it? I score 95% of my 2v1! just pass if he rushes you, or shoot if he tries to cover the pass!)

this has actually happened on my team some times and one of them on a 9-9..
adslfkjadg
afgk
çfdgkfd
ºgkfd
gads
fgadpfgkk





I can't really think of anything else right now it's late.. I'll update if something else comes to my mind.. feel free to post your own "DONT DO IT!" stuff!
If you avoid doing this things, and other basic things that are mentioned everywhere like don't diving like mad duck and don't attack for the sides when it's 2v3 etc etc you'll have a way smaller chance of being called dumb and seen as a retard..
You will be a WAY better player if you keep all those situations in mind..
specially point1! 1. shouldn't be on this thread! it should have its own.. it's not about "how to avoid getting alskdalksjdlaksja'd" but "how do I stop losing 70% of my games and getting bottom50 at uhl?" it really helps..

But yeah, do all that and people might start enjoying playing with you.


edit: oh and obviously, don't vaan people!

tl;dr

i only checked the first image and after you said that reds are positioning wrong i didnt want to continue.

why not?

it was long
looked interesting, though.

yup, i agree. spacing is key. but its hard to think in game when im busy chasing the ball all the time and seeing how hard i can hit other ships

Naki, good post. Keep going! People need to learn how to keep the ball every spawn.

Gareth, calma.

Thanks João
There are some small tricks that will get everyone way better.. If they'd think a bit, they'd get there.. But everyone seems to be anti-thinking now ;\

very good

I like close teammates, if they know how to move. Should be effective close and far passing. My personal favorite is the back pass which is rarely used effectively.

lol close teammates works too.. specially when your ship is going fast.. but once you stop, it sucks.. you have way higher chance of getting effectively doubled or losing the ball due to the lack of available pass lines/bounce space

It's not about if they can work or not, because it obviously can still work most of the times.. the point is, long passes will be way faster, will mess with they D because the have to move a lot and worry more with back passes and blocks and will work even more times!

If you watch the big teams playing, you'll notice they always have space..
"that's not true, I was watching two top teams playing and they weren't always like you say"
lol.. but when they come closer they are actually useful because THEY BLOCK! staying close doing nothing will do no good.. its just way harder to carry the ball.. if you don't wanna or don't know how to effectively block, then go away! get open! give the ball carrier some space..

i miss you naki

I had a post here calling you a homo, but apparently it was really offensive and was removed by an admin, so I'll say I miss you too instead .P